At the start of 2018, I told myself I’d stand on Psalm 27:13, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Boy did I get to watch this verse manifest, not only in my life, but in my family as well. Yes, I have seen the goodness of the Lord, even when I least expected it, and I know this is only the beginning. I had the opportunity to share one of my testimonies a few months ago; you can Click here to catch it. Standing on the Word of God yields great results, yo!
I had some good laughs; read more books than I imagined (I read 6, but trust, that’s an accomplishment for me 😅); made new friends, reconnected (& reconciled) with old ones; grew to appreciate my family more; got to be adventurous; learned to stand on my own faith, instead of relying on that of others; and church started to feel more like home. My blog turned 1 year – never in a million years would I have thought it would make it this far – and it’s been a blessing to me, personally … a lot more happened, that I can testify about. All in all, it’s been a blessed year, with the good outweighing the bad.
One of the highlights of my year has been me becoming a Doctor of medicine (MD). A whole MD. Only God. Some said I’d fail. Some didn’t see me fit to be a doctor because I am female. Some said I was too young. While others didn’t believe in me, just because. BUT GOD, God saw me fit for it all. Through those 6 years, He was with me. Even when I turned my back on Him, He was with me. He never gave up on me, and at the right moment, he led me back to Him. Now here I stand, a [female] medical doctor after God’s own heart. Now that’s worth being a highlight.
My year wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. I had moments of weakness. Moments of inconsistency in my relationship with God. Moments when I gave into temptation, questioned God, and sometimes doubted. Times when I felt like giving up, and the only word I could say to myself was “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (sometimes it was hard to believe). I felt emotionally & mentally depleted & began to slip into depression. I felt like I was giving, giving, & giving so much of myself, & never got the same energy back. I gave till there was nothing left in me to give, not even enough love for myself. My insecurities were at an all time high, with my self-love at an all time low. I didn’t give up on life, per se, but I was on the verge of giving up on my relationships, dreams, and everything I had ever worked for. I didn’t really know who I was anymore, I felt betrayed by life, to be honest, that I decided I’d just drift through it on autopilot. I cried my fair share of tears & had sleepless nights because I just had no peace. Some days, the only silent prayer I knew to say was, “Holy Spirit, I need you. I’m tired. Lord, please…” In the midst of the tears, pain, and autopiloting, the Holy Spirit came through for me. He is the best, because I know I wouldn’t have been able to recover from this rock bottom without Him. Thank You Holy Spirit for never leaving or forsaking me.
Pain is all part of the process, and I believe it made me stronger (cliché, I know, but it’s true). As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you knows whose you are.” I know whom I have believed and He’s never failed me. For this very reason, in 2019, I choose to stand on Joshua 1:5, “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.“ With Cast Your Cares by Guvna B (ft. Kingdom Choir) being my 2019 soundtrack. I know that my God never disappoints. He is for me, and so I will continue to rest in him.
[I do not own rights to this song]
2018 ended on a blessed note. Happy 2019 to you all. I speak more grace, blessings, & favour for you, in the new year. In Jesus name.
Peace & Love.